This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
