She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
