so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
