So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
