she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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