it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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