did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
