I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
