My room smells like vodka and shame
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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