Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
