wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
