Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
