this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
