man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
