he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I skipped work to stalk him.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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