I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
