Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
