walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
