I can't watch pbs sober anymore
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
