Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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