you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize