I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
