my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
