Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
