no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
