i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize