At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
