my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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