I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I will be naked everywhere
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize