well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
