is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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