The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
