I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize