I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
