no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
