I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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