Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
