What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
