People in love make me want to vomit
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
