i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
