The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
