I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
