You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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