gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Sponge bath it is.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
