He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
