chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So much rum. So many feels.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
