So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
