I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
