careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
