this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize