glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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