Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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