Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Randomize