he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
