aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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