He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
