I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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