I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
