Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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