did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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