people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize