I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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